Stories about kids
The Bridges For Youth Story is Comprised of Hundreds of Stories
Any of the stories below could easily be about any number of kids who have attended the Bridges For Youth Centers. The stories below are based on true events, but the names have been changed.
Amber
Summer Camp begins each year with a tour of the Windermere Cave. This is not your usual cave tour, where you walk upright along a lighted path and have a railing to grab at difficult junctures. The Windermere cave is a contort your body , crawl, and grasp onto rocks to keep your balance kind of adventure. You carry your own flashlight to find your way, and to tell you the truth, most kids just find it to be an awesome experience.
There are a few like Amber though who are very unsure about this adventure into the dark. I could see the paralyzing fear on her face as we crawled through the gate to the innermost parts of the cave. What one of you would not have spoken up and said, "It's ok, we will conquer this cave together. I'll stay with you all the way through." I remember seeing relief come to her face as she now knew that she didn't have to do this alone."
Some five minutes later Amber had maneuvered through really challenging parts of the cave with me by her side and our group had gathered around the cave guide. Fear returned as the cave guide asked everyone to turn off their flashlights and then there was just the quiet strained whisper of Amber saying, "Remember you said you wouldn't leave me". A simple "I'm right here" gave her the strength she needed to face this challenge also.
Just as Amber and I conquered the cave together, the Bridges For Youth Centers provide that same victory in the lives of hundreds of kids and teens each year. Lets face it, if you can take yourself back to childhood and yes, those tumultuous teen years, you will no doubt find the same uncomfortable and yes, even impossible challenges that many of the Bridges For Youth attendees face. Helping is only possible when you have the Bridges For Youth Center there for them, right in the neighborhood, and yes, at no registration cost, so no one will be turned away because they didn't have enough money to come.
Jim was eight when we first met and he was always itching to kick up a fight with anyone who would oblige. He usually instigated the quarrels and you could say he was well acquainted with what was needed to make another kid fighting mad.
At Bridges we gradually develop insights into what is going on in kids life through their behaviors. I remember sitting Lil' Jim down on one occasion and how we discussed what was prompting all this rage. He looked at me with some of the weepiest eyes you've ever seen and simply said "It hurts inside". Now, I don't need to tell you that this sends tidal waves of compassion through someone, even this old dude. After further investigation we discovered that Lil' Jim's dad had been being abusive to his mom and the anger had spilled over to Lil' Jim. As we worked with Lil' Jim and came to understand the reasons for his anger we were able to nurture and make a big difference in his life.
Randall was distinctly different from Lil' Jim, but had that same hidden pain inside. Remembering back, as I surveyed the kids playing one day, Randall stuck out to me as he sat with his head lowered at the picnic table. My first impression was that one of the staff had put him in time out. My inquiry into what was wrong brought only a quiet mumble that I could not understand. That was all there was that day, and there was no explanation for his sullen demeanor.
As I encountered Randall on other days, sometimes his demeanor was bright and fun loving, and then on others the same down trodden look. Each day we would do the best we could to show love and encouragement to Randall, still not knowing what deep seeded hurt he was carrying around inside. So many, just like Randall are in this same position, carrying around the hurt of physical abuse from an adult. It's often hidden until you pay really close attention to a kid.
In my recollection it was several months later until we discovered the cause of his hurt and his occasional depressed state. By this time we had been paying special attention to take care of Randall who we knew was in a very fragile state of being. There are times when we never discover what the hurt is in a kids life and that is not necessarily a bad thing. As shocking as it may seem, Randall was sexually abused by a relative, and although the perpetrator was jailed for the offense, Randall still had to live with the hurt the crime had caused. It really makes me cry, remembering all the precious kids who have attended Bridges, who have had to deal with the horrible pain of sexual abuse.
We still get really excited about kids and teens who want a hug, and won't go away without getting a hug at the Bridges For Youth Centers. It's almost like they are saying, "Look, adult role model, never give up on me figure, you know what we been through in the past few years, now pony up my hug." It's definitely a visible and meaningful result of giving unconditional love to kids.
Brandon, a 12 year old, pestered a staff member for his hug yesterday. No, he is not a mild and meek kid like you might think. Brandon is a skateboarder, being raised by a single mom, and has a tough persona to survive in his neighborhood. This is the kid who yesterday and the day before and the day before will not give up until he gets his hug.
Do you wonder why Brandon would want a hug? Its the staff member. She is the person who has been strict as a mother hen, but flexible in pouring out unconditional love and forgiveness at every turn. She first met Brandon some years ago and he made it clear to her that he thought Bridges was stupid. No, he didn't like the devotions and he just ignored the prayer time. Something happened over the course of the weeks and months to follow, that typically happens to many of the kids and teens who attend Bridges For Youth. Brandon simply learned that this particular staff member at Bridges honestly cared about him and that is the reason he wants a hug today.
A seemingly little thing like a boxed juice was not little to the 6 year old girl at the snack bar counter. It took me by surprise when she asked pleadingly if she might take the juice home with her. Puzzled, I asked why she wouldn't just drink it now. "Why, I'm a poor little girl and I don't get things like this very often," she said.
Some people would take out of this story that if you provide food and drinks to this little girl and her mom, that you have done your job. No, that is not it at all! What has happened is that we have connected on one level with this little girl and we have come to understand her a little bit more.
As the little girl comes to Bridges every day, we learn that she is being raised by a single mom. We develop a relationship with the mom also and before long the staff at the Bridges center is like an extended family. Prayers go up and blessings come down, so to speak. Just think for a minute and consider all the hundreds of nurturing relationships we have had like this since we started in 1994.
Jack
As a kid I remember how common it was for a kid to carry a pocket knife. Jack had a pocket knife at Bridges(not allowed) one day when his anger flared up. He got so angry he spouted out and said he was going to hurt somebody with it. Your immediate reaction as a staff member is "Why did you have to say something like that?", The expression on our face undoubtedly says, "Don't you know that we care about you, want you to stay, but now you can't stay here because you threatened someone with a knife?"
There always seems to be a hidden story when unexpected bursts of anger happen with a kid like Jack. In Jack's case he was being abused and receiving beatings at home by his father. The system eventually discovered what was happening to Jack and the father went to jail. The threat being removed you might think all is well, but things like abuse do severe psychological damage.
Jack showed up at the Bridges center almost a year later.and the expression on his face showed that something was different about him. Now, Jack was a teenager, but he was still a fragile kid inside. He explained what had happened to him and how he had went through counseling to find healing. The Bridges staff member pointed out to Jack that no incidents or threats like before would be allowed at the center. Jack heartily agreed and the young man has been attending the Bridges For Youth center without incident for nearly a year now.